10 Do’s and Don’ts of Parenting During Exam Season
Discover the key do’s and don’ts of parenting during exam season. Learn how to support your child emotionally, mentally, and practically as they prepare for their exams.
PARENTS
Achiever Tandoh & Don Chimhanda
10/3/20258 min read
10 Do’s and Don’ts of Parenting During Exam Season
Exam season is one of the most stressful times of the school year—not just for students, but for parents too. As a parent, you want the best for your child. You want them to perform well, unlock opportunities, and feel proud of their hard work. But with so much pressure, emotions run high. Sometimes, in trying to “push” or “motivate,” parents unintentionally increase their child’s stress instead of helping them cope.
Some parents try to motivate with tough love, while others hover and micromanage their child’s study sessions. Some step too far back, leaving children to feel unsupported. The truth is, parenting during exam time requires balance—offering the right level of encouragement, structure, and emotional support without creating additional stress.
Exam preparation isn’t just about how much content your child revises. Their environment, emotional well-being, and support system play just as big a role. Your role during this season isn’t to control outcomes, but to create the right environment. Think of yourself as your child’s anchor—steady, supportive, and calm—while they face the storm of revision and exams.
To help you strike the right balance, here are 10 do’s and don’ts of parenting during exam season.
1. Do: Create a Calm, Supportive Environment
A tense home breeds a tense mind. During exams, your child’s mind is already filled with formulas, essays writing techniques, and revision notes. Home should feel like a safe place where they can breathe. This doesn’t mean silence 24/7 or making your home feel like a library, but it does mean being mindful. Keep the atmosphere positive and reduce unnecessary conflict.
Small things make a big difference, like reducing loud background noise, lowering TV volume during study hours, keeping conversations encouraging, and showing patience when your child feels overwhelmed. When your child knows they can study and rest in peace, it signals that their effort is valued and supported which motivates them to perform better.
2. Do: Encourage Healthy Routines
One of the biggest mistakes students make is neglecting their health during exams. They stay up late, snack on junk food, and push themselves until exhaustion. As a parent, you play a key role in preventing this.
Exams aren’t just about what happens in the exam hall, they’re also about preparation. And preparation requires balance. Make sure your child gets enough sleep, eats nourishing meals, and takes breaks. Encourage light exercise like walking, stretching, or even short sports sessions to relieve tension. Encourage hydration too; even mild dehydration can reduce focus.
A tired brain can’t focus, and a stressed body struggles to retain information. Supporting routines that prioritize rest and health gives your child the best chance to perform at their peak. Remind them that rest isn’t wasting time, it’s good for their performance.
3. Do: Praise Effort, Not Just Results
Exam time is full of stress because the focus often narrows down to marks. But your child needs to know that effort matters just as much as grades. Acknowledge the time they put into revision, the persistence in tackling tough questions, or even the small progress they’ve made in tricky topics.
You need to understand that more effort does not always translate to better grades. Sometimes your child might have been working harder but not smarter, using poor study methods, or maybe they simply don’t have good exam writing skills. All these factors can influence their grades, but they can be fixed.
So if you notice that your child seems to be working hard but not getting the marks they expect, acknowledge their effort and help them single out what the problem might be. Otherwise, they will feel defeated and start thinking that no matter the amount of effort they put into studying, they wont do well because they’re “simply not smart enough”, which is wrong.
Praise their persistence: “I saw how you stuck with that tricky question instead of giving up. That’s good.” This builds confidence and motivates them to keep going, even when results aren’t immediate. It teaches your child that hard work is valuable, regardless of immediate outcomes and that growth is a process, not just a final grade.
A hardworking and resilient student can quickly bump up their grade by simply switching to more effective study techniques or improving their exam taking strategy, but having good exam taking strategies and study techniques wont help much if no effort is actually put into studying.
4. Do: Provide Practical Help
Parents often feel the only way to help is through words, but practical support can be just as powerful. For example, setting up a quiet study area, keeping stationery and resources organized, or providing access to past papers can reduce unnecessary stress.
Something as simple as bringing your child a healthy snack during revision signals care and reminds them they’re not doing this alone. If they’re struggling with organization, sit with them to plan a revision timetable. If they’re nervous about a subject, offer to quiz them with flashcards.
Practical help shows love in action. It removes small obstacles and allows your child to focus purely on learning.
5. Do: Be Their Emotional Safety Net
Exam season is emotionally draining. Your child may feel overwhelmed, anxious, or even defeated at times. Sometimes what your child needs most isn’t another study tip, but a reminder that they are supported no matter what. Be available for conversations that go beyond academics—listen if they’re tired, reassure them when they’re anxious, and remind them that exams don’t define their value as a person.
A hug, a kind word, or even sitting with them quietly can mean more than hours of extra revision.
Make space for conversations where they can talk openly without fear of judgment. If they say, “I’m scared I’ll fail,” brushing it off with, “Don’t be silly,” doesn’t help. It makes them feel unheard and invalidated. Don’t immediately jump in with solutions either. Start by validating: “I understand that must feel really stressful.” Sometimes, being heard is all they need to feel lighter.
Listening doesn’t mean agreeing with their fears—it means showing that their emotions are valid and that they don’t have to carry them alone. Empathy builds trust, and trust helps your child feel safe enough to keep trying and to keep you updated about their feelings.
1. Don’t: Add Pressure Through Comparisons
One of the quickest ways to increase anxiety is by comparing your child to others: “Look at how well your cousin is doing,” or “Your friend always gets top marks, why can’t you?” These comparisons create shame instead of motivation. Nothing undermines a child’s confidence faster than comparison.
Every child learns differently. They have different strengths, weaknesses and learning styles. Some need extra time, some thrive under step-by-step guidance, and others pick things up quickly. Respect your child’s uniqueness instead of measuring them against someone else. The goal is progress, not competition. Focus on your child’s personal progress—how they’re doing compared to where they started, not compared to someone else.
2. Don’t: Hover or Micromanage
Hovering over your child’s shoulder, checking their every move, or constantly asking, “What are you studying now?” creates unnecessary pressure. It sends the message that you don’t trust them to handle their own learning.
It’s natural to always want to ask—“Have you revised this chapter? How many hours did you study today?” But it’s not very helpful to them and can be counterproductive so don’t.
Instead, give them space while still being available. Ask open-ended questions like, “How are you feeling about your revision today?” rather than demanding, “Did you finish all your work?” This keeps communication open without making them feel suffocated. If you’re worried, have a calm discussion about their study plan, then give them the space to follow it. Offer support when they ask for it, not control.
3. Don’t: Project Your Own Anxiety
Children are emotional mirrors. If you panic about results, they’ll panic too. If you’re calm and confident, they’re more likely to stay grounded.
Even if you’re worried, try not to let it show in ways that add to their stress. Avoid saying things like, “If you don’t do well, the future will be ruined.” Instead, reassure them that exams are important, but not the sole measure of their worth or future success.
4. Don’t: Focus Solely on Grades
When parents obsess over results, children begin to link their self-worth to marks. This can cause anxiety, fear of failure, and even burnout.
Instead of saying, “You must get an A,” say, “I’m proud of how much you’ve prepared.” Grades are one measure of success, but they don’t capture the full picture of learning or character.
5. Don’t: Add Pressure With Threats
Threats like, “If you fail, you won’t get into university,” may sound like motivation, but they create fear. Fear leads to panic, and panic kills performance.
Replace threats with encouragement. Remind them of their abilities: “I know this is tough, but I believe in the work you’ve put in.” Confidence, not fear, is what helps students perform at their best.
Final Thoughts
As exam season approaches, remember this: grades matter, but your child’s emotional well-being matters more. By focusing on support rather than pressure, you give them the confidence to face exams without fear.
Your role is not to supervise their learning like a prison warden, it’s to provide the steady encouragement that keeps them going. When they know home is a safe space, when they feel valued for effort and not just scores, they perform better and carry lessons that last beyond school.
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Five DO’s of Parenting During Exam Season
Five DON’Ts of Parenting During Exam Season
